I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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