I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
