you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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