And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
