I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
