How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
