he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
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Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
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want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me