Don't make out with my wife yet
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice