I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
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Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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