i need an iv and a liver transplant
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.