Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
50% drunk capacity currently
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
