You're my little dorito
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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