dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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