He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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