i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
