If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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