spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
