In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
