And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
