I'm going to jail i love you
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
