someone threw a dead crab at me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Panties = found
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
