Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
