I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
