I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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