another moral hangover. fuck.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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