how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
