I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back