I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.