Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?