Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Maybe he injected his testicle?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars