apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea