..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize