You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
