Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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