I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize