There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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