Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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