It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
