Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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