i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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