Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize