O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
