i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
