It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
