So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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