Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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