Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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