What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
