Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me

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  (323): Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me http://tfl.nu/d8jq
  Replies (9) Good night (4421) Bad night (2070)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people

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  (317): I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people http://tfl.nu/qth2
  Replies (34) Good night (6730) Bad night (956)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.

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  (814): First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half. http://tfl.nu/df8e
  Replies (27) Good night (4341) Bad night (1027)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong

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  (314): Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong http://tfl.nu/3qv8
  Replies (17) Good night (5686) Bad night (534)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot

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  (480): I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot http://tfl.nu/rl8p
  Replies (87) Good night (11106) Bad night (761)
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  (631): View more from New York

  so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.

  (631): View more from New York

  what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK

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  (631): so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night. (631): what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK http://tfl.nu/1v47
  Replies (34) Good night (7231) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.

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  (713): Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success. http://tfl.nu/wlhs
  Replies (9) Good night (5392) Bad night (852)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?

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  (716): Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country? http://tfl.nu/yu48
  Replies (7) Good night (3590) Bad night (913)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.

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  (903): Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week. http://tfl.nu/2lhm
  Replies (18) Good night (1163) Bad night (2602)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.

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  (914): He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away. http://tfl.nu/k6q1
  Replies (13) Good night (6588) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...

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  (573): I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head... http://tfl.nu/us9j
  Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (510)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.

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  (206): The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again. http://tfl.nu/xffh
  Replies (5) Good night (1242) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10

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  (817): A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10 http://tfl.nu/8aoh
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.

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  (646): We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman. http://tfl.nu/a2vv
  Replies (8) Good night (595) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed

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  (484): Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed http://tfl.nu/tho4
  Replies (7) Good night (812) Bad night (320)

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