He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
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My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
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I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.