Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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