I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
