Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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