This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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