Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
