that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
