who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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