Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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