Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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