Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
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I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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