So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
we made out on top of his cat.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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