CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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