Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
